Who he isEdit
Lastpatriot is a level 34 or "Icon" on the GameFAQs boards. He came to the board in October, 2005, from the General Board which at the time was still suffering the effects of Black Tuesdelay. Seeking a more sane board he entered the TPSB and has remained ever since. Also, the name has no political connotation.
He is a young man with black hair, and a Leonidas scar over his right eye. His build is slim and he has no other noticeable features other than a scar on his left hand, which he got when he literally punched a guy in the mouth. The guy bit down on his fist.
Through his early years in school, he had to deal with bullying and general mockery from his peers, due to various reasons. His awkward build and his viciousness also sardonically earned him the nickname Locust, years before Gears of War. Due to his ostracism from his peers, LP slowly began to turn inwards, resulting in a severe loneliness and occasional bouts of depression. To combat this, he began envisioning himself as a type of "lone warrior god"(which he is far from), a cult of personality that tends to go to his head. After the events of the How do I get into a girl's pants? topic, he's begun efforts to change his image into that of a semi-normal person. Although in the past he had racist tendencies, he has, by most accounts, mellowed out, stopped ranting about random stuff, and is all in all a more tolerable person.
What he doesEdit
He is somewhat athletic, not being particularly good at sports, but not terrible either. As he says, "I'm not the guy everybody yells at". He is also known for having an obsession for the Japanese comic book series Berserk, and it's protagonist, Guts, in particular, and
will talk endlessly about a sprite comic which will probably never get off the ground. This comic, in fact, did not get off the ground.
LP is laughably known for having no social life whatsoever, instead preferring to play with swords, watch crappy 80s/early 90s action movies which nobody has ever heard of, play video games nobody has ever heard of, play the saxophone, or go running in forests. He likes to tell a story about how he once saved a "damsel in distress", only to find out that it was, in fact, a guy. It has been rumored that Lastpatriot is a closeted furry. He maintains that...certain characters of...certain 1990s animated television shows transcend the furry border and are quite acceptable to be found attractive.
He also refers to the ASCII game called "Ancient Domains of Mystery", or "ADOM" as "Digital rape". However, he welcomes this, as long as he gets a pack of cigarettes, a shaving razor, or a couple of spoons out of it. He is enraged if he sees movies with smartass talking animals making pop culture references.
It took him quite a few years, but LP has gotten past the cynical anger and self-deprecation, albeit it still shows up occasionally. As some have said, LP is just a somewhat devilish, mildly rebellious, but overally nice fellow at heart. He's managed to turn the pain and anger from his early years into the semi-angry humor that has made him somewhat endearing to the board. LP is known as the guy who you want to talk to if you want to talk swords, fighting, or weaponry in general. He is always willing to play a good online game or participate in an RP with members of the board, even shirking his school and housework to be with his friends.
Due to the emotional help and general support the board gives him, he has an intense dedication, almost love, towards the board and most of it's denizens. As a result of this, the intensity of his affection for the TPSB is almost eclipsed by his complete hatred of trolls and others who he feels spoil the board for the "Rest of us". While some board members even welcome trolling as a mild diversion, and most board members managed to forgive Clipper for his past trolling, Lastpatriot took considerably longer to welcome Clipper as a true member of the board.
Awards, accolades, and assorted factsEdit
In 2005, the first "annual" TPSB awards were run, and he won a tight race against Vujman to win the Best Critic award.
It's been confirmed that LP has been penalized with approximately -140 karma through his 2 years on the board, as well as a purgatory sentence and numerous warnings.
Mr. Patriot would like to take this opportunity to challenge anybody reading to a "pop-culture off", the likes of which cause cataclysmic destruction only equaled by the effects of throwing turtles at banjos. If you wish to partake in this epic duel, which separates men from boys, you can instant message LP at Adol Crystin (AOL Instant Messenger) or firstname.lastname@example.org (MSN)
A few quotes about LPEdit
"I've never met somebody as...well, you as you are, LP. That, your humor, and your crazy berserker obsession is what makes you an endearing person."-SwordofAnduril
"Well, you certainly are strong-willed and opinionated, and you seem to be a bit insane on the inside, which is always a plus in my book"-thaGreatness
"You're a scumbag who deserved all the illwill you've gotten over the years"-Clipper
A few quotes by LPEdit
"Basically, the dude said that I have a tentacle demon-esque Johnson and I want her." -LastPatriot
"I have no idea where the above quote came from. My hard drive has been reinstalled a few times, so there's no hope of finding the source of this quote on my computer." -Lastpatriot
"Street Fighter: The Movie is one of the greatest things ever filmed." -Lastpatriot